January 1, 2012
We’ve been on our homeschool journey for six years. When I met my husband I was decidedly against public school. In fact my oldest son had been attending a local Christian school for seven years and I was happy with my accomplishment. I had saved my child from the evils of secular education.
During one of our many hours of discussion about our life together my future husband said he wanted to consider homeschooling. Of course that meant me. We had already agreed that I would quit my job and be a full time mom. I had waited 13 years for that privilege. I saw what sticking my child in daycare produced. I longed to have those moments back. I had already missed my son’s first words, his first steps, his first everything and I was determined not to miss those moments with my future children. But homeschooling?!? Now I had to step back and consider. I wanted to be a full time mom but did I really want to be a teacher? I listened to all the reasons why my soon-to-be husband wanted homeschooling for his children (most of which were Biblical – why had I never heard this from the Church?). Okay. I wanted to follow God’s commands for me and my family but really? Surely there had to be a better way. Then the emphatic statement. “We will homeschool our children.” “Okay, I’ll try” was my response.
That was six years ago.
My eldest son graduated from the Christian school he was attending and it saddens me that we did not pull him out at 13 and finish his education at home. We spent the next five years watching the school slowly lose its focus. It became a private public school with a Bible class tacked on. By the time my son graduated they had eliminated Chapel, done away with missions trips and spiritual retreats, and converted classroom texts to public school books. I failed. I thought I was doing the right thing but I see now that the only thing I accomplished by enrolling my son in this “Christian” school was to give him a sense that your relationship with God can be compartmentalized and does no need to be the guiding factor in every aspect of your life. And for that error in judgment? My son walks the way of the world turning a half-heart to his God.
My husband and I have three children; five, two and one. We officially started schooling in the Fall of 2009. For three years I’ve been focused on academics. Learning the three R’s. But something is missing. I look at my children and see unruly, disrespectful, disobedient, sinful hearts and see I failed AGAIN. I want more for them than academics. I want disciples. So here I am again, stepping back, reevaluating and preparing to start over. I want happy children who walk after the Lord so we will no longer be homeschooling. Yep, I said it, I give up! No, my children will not be enrolled in the nearest public school. They will not even be attending one of the many smaller Christian schools in the area. They will continue to be taught at home and I will continue to be a full time mom. And though I will continue to teach academics we will no longer be homeshooling. We are now home discipling.