May 9, 2012
“No, hold on” was a phrase
repeated many times this morning. A simple phrase, easily understood right? Not
really. Those three little words had two meanings this morning and which one
you chose to listen to depended on which end of the dental floss you happened
to be holding.
Dental floss holds a
strange attraction for our children. If they can get their hands on it you can
rest assured 25 feet of minty, waxed thread will be laying all over the house.
Today they were using it as rope to lead each other around. The problem? My son
wanted his eldest sister to wait until he had all the floss out of the
container before she grabbed a hold. She wanted to take the available end right
then and there. So ‘hold on’ for him meant wait a minute; ‘hold on’ for her meant
hold on.
That simple
miscommunication led to a mini-conflict. I say mini-conflict because my son
soon realized the mistake he had made and quickly corrected it. “No, not hold
on like that, hold on like wait a minute.” His sister then understood what he
wanted her to do and released the floss until he finished unraveling it. They
each grabbed an end and were off to the races so to speak.
This is not the first time
a poor choice of words has led to frustration, fighting and hurt feelings. I am
often plagued with open mouth – insert foot. I’m a straight shooter, I know
what I mean (and it is certainly not to hurt someone’s feelings) but my words
confuse my intent. I used to think ‘Well that’s just who I am, take it or leave
it’. Shockingly, people choose to leave it more often than not. I have damaged
more than one budding friendship, and have caused others to stay at arm’s length,
by my poor choice in phraseology.
My husband however, is a
man of very little words and you know exactly what he means when he speaks. You
see, he chooses his words very carefully; often thinking about what he wants to
say for days before addressing a matter. This too has its problems.
“A praying mantis won’t
eat other praying mantises because they are the same size,” is not the same
thing as “A praying mantis won’t each other praying mantises if they are the same
size.” Yet another example that caused a complete breakdown in productivity
this week. One word caused an otherwise good moment to be filled with
frustration (as my son tried over and over to
get me to understand what he meant), fighting (as mom continually tried
to “correct” his wrong assertion) and hurt feelings (as my son increasingly
felt like I just wasn’t listening to him). It took almost five minutes to clear
up the confusion and make things right.
James tells us that a man
who cannot control his tongue makes his religion worthless. We are warned that
the tongue is a fire that destroys and that no man can tame it. Again, we are
told to be quick to listen and slow to speak. There are many more admonishes in
scripture about our speech and they are worthy of consideration as we try to
teach our children to choose their words carefully.
Foundational to this is to
instruct our children in what God has to say about our speech obviously. But,
we also need to teach our children proper meaning of words, sentence structure
and grammar. It really does matter.
SPEECH, n.
1. The faculty of
uttering articulate sounds or words, as in human beings; the faculty of
expressing thoughts by words or articulate sounds. Speech was given to man by
his Creator for the noblest purposes.
2. Language; words as
expressing ideas. The acts of God to human ears cannot without process of
speech be told.
3. A particular
language, as distinct form others. Ps. 19.
4. That which is
spoken; words uttered in connection and expressing thoughts. You smile at my
speech.
5. Talk; mention;
common saying. The duke did of me demand, what was the speech among the
londoners concerning the French journey.
6. Formal discourse
in public; oration; harangue. The member has made his first speech in the
legislature.
7. Any declaration of
thoughts. I, with leave of speech implor'd, repli'd.
SPEECH, v.i. To make a
speech; to harangue. [Little used.]
“He who guards his mouth
and his tongue keeps himself from calamity.” – Proverbs 21:23
