Search This Blog

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Daddy Likes Polka-Dots

April 22, 2012

“Which dress would you like to wear to church today?” I asked as I held up two choices. One was pink with flowers and the other was white with pastel polka-dots. I thought for sure she would choose the pink dress since it is her favorite color and her sister was already dressed in a pink dress. She contemplated her choices for what seemed like five minutes. Finally, she pointed to the polka-dot dress.

“Are you sure?” I asked. I found it very useful to confirm her choice since in the past there has been miscommunication and last minute changing of the mind. Her answer to my simple question was surprising.

“Daddy likes polka-dots.”

Now this response was unsettling for me. The feminist in me wanted to lecture her about being a strong, independent woman who didn’t care about what a man thought of her. I wanted to tell her to dress to please herself and no one else. Thankfully God restrained me. I simply said “Yes he does.”

Later, I had to examine my reaction in light of what we have been trying to teach our children. So what are we trying to teach them?

1.   God created one woman for one man.
2.   Woman was created to be a suitable helper for man.
3.   Your body belongs to your spouse and should not be shared with anyone else in any way.

So how did dressing to please her father fit into these basic principles? The answer can be found in Genesis 3:16; “…and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.”

My little girl desired to please the man in her life. She was cursed to do this. But this curse is not a bad thing. Without it we as women cannot fulfill our created purpose to be a suitable helpmeet.

I was about to begin the long and not so subtle teaching journey of telling my daughter that the opinion of their father (and one day their husband) does not matter. That she should do what pleases her. What a horrible road for a mother to set her daughter on, and I was prepared to do so. Thank my Father in Heaven He stopped my mouth before I could set even one of her little toes on that path.

MEET, a. [L. convenio.] Fit; suitable; proper; qualified; convenient; adapted, as to a use or purpose.
HELP, v.t. A regular verb; the old past tense and participle holp and holpen being obsolete.
1. To aid; to assist; to lend strength or means towards effecting a purpose; as, to help a man in his work; to help another in raising a building; to help one to pay his debts; to help the memory or the understanding.
2. To assist; to succor; to lend means of deliverance; as, to help one in distress; to help one out of prison.
3. To relieve; to cure, or to mitigate pain or disease.
4. To remedy; to change for the better.
5. To prevent; to hinder.
6. To forbear; to avoid.
HELP, v.i. To lend aid; to contribute strength or means.
HELP, n. Aid; assistance; strength or means furnished towards promoting an object, or deliverance from difficulty or distress.


  1. Out of the mouths of babes! Sounds like youre doing some great discipling over there!
    Blessings, Dana

    1. We are trying. Its such a foreign thing for both of us we sometimes feel like shipwreck survivors floating on a little dinghy in a vast ocean with no one else around.

  2. We are commanded in Scripture not to please ourselves, but to please God. And then we are commanded to please our spouse and put his needs above our own. Then Philippians 2 tells us to put others above ourselves. How wonderful that your daughter is choosing to bring delight to others above herself. The world tells us to put ourselves first, but your daughter is putting others first. That's absolutely wonderful!

    1. Its hard dealing with my children's self-centeredness when I haven't conquered my own. I feel like a hypocrite many a day.