Do Unto Others

photo from: supplychainbeyond.com

July 17, 2013

Our family has been going through one of those seasons of life. It’s just one thing after another. And in the midst of that it has been all too easy to let discipleship slide. I looked at my kitchen walls today and realized I haven’t been dealing with my children according to the rules we established.

There are two things hanging on the wall of our kitchen. The first is a Computer Time chart. This chart lets the kids earn tickets for exhibiting certain desirable behaviors that they can then redeem for computer time. This is not the only computer time the children get, but it is time they can do whatever they want (with Mommy’s & Daddy’s approval) for the time they choose to redeem.

The second thing hanging on our wall is the If-Then chart we received from Doorposts. This chart list various behavioral infractions, Bible verses related to the infraction, and a consequence. The consequences were carefully researched during Bible study time and decided upon by Little Big Boy Man who also took the time to color each cell.

I haven’t been consistently handing out computer tickets. Nor have I been consistently meeting out the agreed upon consequences. The result? Unruly children. And I only have myself to blame. But one issue I have been consistently cracking down on is their treatment of each other.

Three strong-willed children under one roof 24 hours a day is bound to end in conflict. But what I want my children to learn is that their siblings can either be their best friend, or their worst enemy, and it all depends on how they treat each other. So I am quick to jump in with encouragements like “I know you want your sisters to play your way, but you cannot use force to make them do something. Handle it better.” Or, “I know that belongs to you but maybe you can share for a little while and everyone will be happy.” And “God wants us to treat others the way we would want to be treated.”

Somehow, Little Big Boy Man has latched on to the last one with a slight modification. It has now become “She treats me this way, so I’m treating her like this.” I used to simply reply that we do not return evil for evil. But now I add that the command is not one of reaction. It is a command of action. So no, ‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you’ is not the same thing as ‘Do unto others as they have done unto you’.

It is a hard lesson to learn.

“And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise." - Luke 6:31

Laziness

June 30, 2013

Sweetie Pie #1 is LAZY.

There’s just no denying it any longer. I tried.

Some children are slow to the start. It takes them awhile to get moving. And when they get moving it’s at a snail’s pace. And that’s ok. Not everyone can be the Tasmanian Devil, flitting from one thing to another in a mad flurry of activity.

The problem is neither the snail nor the Tasmanian Devil ever get anything done. There is a complete lack out activity on one hand, and too much activity one the other hand, both resulting in nothing getting done.

So I prefer the Tortoise approach. Slow and steady wins the race. You don’t have to sprint through your day but you do need to keep moving if you want to get anything done. And that is where my dear little Sweetie Pie #1 falls short.

I send her to her room to clean up and she scampers away to get the job done. Ten minutes later, NOTHING has been put away. Somewhere down the 12 foot hallway she lost her drive to do her chore. What I find is a beautiful little girl sitting on her floor, or on her bed, looking at the mess.  Or, I find her actually making more of a mess.

She would rather lie around with her thumb in her mouth and her blankie wrapped around her body then pick up a dirty sock and put it in the hamper. But I think I stumbled on the solution this weekend.

Sweetie Pie wanted to help make her sister’s birthday cake (well actually she wanted to eat the icing). I wanted her to get her things out of the kitchen. In her typical fashion she stuck her thumb in her mouth and just stood there. Now I’m trying to turn over a new leaf in my own life so instead of getting angry at her disobedience and yelling or spanking I just ignored her. Sure enough she thought she won the battle. She climbed up on the counter and proceeded to help “make” the cake. I picked her up put her on the floor and told her again to put her things away. Second chorus same as the first. After three rounds she looks at me and says, with tears in her eyes, “I want some icing.” So I looked back at her and said “And I want your things out of the kitchen.” Light bulb moment. Sweetie Pie picked up her stuff, put it away, and came right back for her icing which I gladly gave her.

“For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work , neither should he eat .” – 2 Thessalonians 3:10

So I’m going to take the ‘You Don’t Work, You Don’t Eat’ approach. No yelling. No threatening. And no food. I figure if it works with chocolate icing it should work with lunch and dinner. Of course the draw of chocolate icing is stronger than that of brussell sprouts so this plan may backfire. We’ll see.

“Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise! It has no commander, no overseer or ruler, yet it stores its provisions in summer and gathers its food at harvest. How long will you lie there, you sluggard? When will you get up from your sleep? A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest--and poverty will come on you like a bandit and scarcity like an armed man.” – Proverbs 6:6-11

LA'ZY,

1. Disinclined to action or exertion; naturally or habitually slothful; sluggish; indolent; averse to labor; heavy in motion.

2. Slow; moving slowly or apparently with labor; as a lazy stream.